We wanted to sell the house, but when the customer appeared, the neighbor poured a manure to prevent the transaction

- We did it!- I was excited on the phone.

I talked to my sister, I just informed her that we were going to Norway for five years, where my husband got a great job as a geologist when looking for oil.The Norwegian company provided us with a flat and help in relocation.Paweł hoped that after a five -year stay he would get a re -work offer in this Scandinavian country, maybe even permanently.Well, in Poland there was no chance to find oil, and this was his life goal and ambition.My sister congratulated me and asked what with our home.

"We'll sell it," I replied.- We were thinking about rent, but these are too many problems and you would rather have to be there.Why do we need such a burden.

So we put our house for sale and started preparations for moving for the Baltic Sea.The first potential buyers literally called an hour after Paweł hung a banner on the fence with the inscription "For sale" and our phone numbers.

"We're looking for something in this area," said a young woman.- We drove a car and I think we were lucky.When can we see the house?

We invited them to the next day

A couple came around thirty, he was elegant, looking like a manager or lawyer, she smiling and talkative.They watched our five rooms, took a look at the garage and asked about the price.Paweł gave them to them and I saw them threading their faces.

"The house is after renovation last year," I explained.- We renovated for ourselves, there are solid wood tops in the kitchen, underfloor heating in both bathrooms, insulated roof.In this area it is a standard price ...

But that didn't convince them somehow.A woman introducing herself as Marzena proposed a price of several hundred thousand lower, and her husband added an annoyingly informative tone that we will certainly not sell real estate at the starting price.

"Well, in that case, if you changed your mind, this is our offer," Marzena repeated and headed for the door.

After their exit, Paweł shrugged

In fact, their offer was absurdly low.Before we put up a house for sale, we got away in the market and did not really exaggerate with the price.We were sure that there would be other interested parties quickly.The old lady was already determined, but ... soon a man who was looking for a home for a family of five called.I invited him to watch with my wife and children.

"I think they like it," I whispered to my husband when the potential buyer with appreciation watched I designed and perfectly equipped kitchen.

It was obvious that she liked the solid countertops and the island in the middle.Suddenly she frowned and grimaced.Worried, I came closer and then I snorted with disgust.Something smelled terribly.The stench clearly walked from the outside, from behind the open window.

- What's that?The woman asked, looking through the glass."I have no idea," I admitted, swallowing nervously.- Do you have a cesspool here?Under the windows?Are you sure tight?

Indeed, the stench suggested a stunning cesspool.Only ours was recently emptied and tight on the bank.I had no idea what poisoning the air.Potential customers gathered in three minutes and almost covered the way to the car.Paweł walked around the house, but he did not find the source of the stench.We were confused and frustrated, because the marriage looked delighted with the house until this odor was sitting through the windows.

I called them a few days later, but they were not interested anymore.I read between the lines that they do not trust us and are convinced that we are hiding a cesspool failure.For the next week, nothing stink, so when an old lady called who wanted to buy a house for herself and her son's family, I assured her that our "residence" would definitely meet her expectations.When she got out of an elegant car and looked around with satisfaction with our garden, I felt that she would be interested in buying.I wasn't wrong, the old lady was already in the process of examining where her son and his wife would live, and which bedroom she would take.She told me about my recently died husband and a fortune worth the company he left her.

"But the money, you know, it's just an add -on," she performed, looking at chrome chickens in the bathroom.- The most important is family.That's why I want to live with my son.My daughter -in -law is pregnant, I intend to immediately save the house to the granddaughter.They will like it here.I will order a playground for a tiny one, we will also make a driveway for the trolley from the terrace side.

It seemed a bit bossy to me, but I was glad she was determined.The money apparently did not play a role and did not even win as we mentioned the sum.She had already called her son to tell him that she had found the perfect house when I felt it again.The same stench as before.The elderly lady first clogged her nose, and then looked at me questioningly.

"We don't know what stinks," I confessed honestly.- We checked the cesspool a week ago, everything is fine, I have confirmation.I'll show you soon.

"You don't have to," she said reluctantly.- Maybe if you deal with these sewage problems, please call.For now, I won't stand here or a second longer.

I wasn't playing here.Over the past days, nothing has stinking, and here suddenly again, when someone was watching the house, he was bursting with the odor?

This time I went to reconnaissance with Paweł

I was sure it was not about the septic tank or the sewage system that was fresh after replacing the pipes.Anyway, something stuck like from the fence side, from there where the net was separating our plot from the neighbor's area.We came closer, shining with mobile phones and ... we had to cover our noses with clothes.

- It's from here!- Paweł stood at the net with a contorted face and showed the neighbor's lawn.- But what the hell is it?

The way to find out was only one.We walked around the house and called Mr. Zenon's gate.We knew each other poorly because he wasn't very sociable.Oh, "good morning" and "Have a nice day" - it was often our whole conversation over a month.Nobody answered, but Paweł noticed that the gate was only closed and the light was shining at the house.He suggested that we enter and knock on the door.The property was not illuminated, there was a car on the sidewalk, so we went through the lawn.Or rather, we intended to go because ...

- Wounds, how is it going here !!I exclaimed, choking from the stench.- Wait, don't go this way!- Paweł waved his hands.- I got into something!Cholera!What's that?It was a manure.

Someone spilled it all over the lawn, I felt my shoes stick to the hideous break.I started to go back towards the gate and then my eyes fell on the tin tank, from which the rubber snake came out.The end of the snake lay in the middle of the lawn, immersed in a stinking mud.

- Is Mr. Zenon poured here?!I was dumbfounded.- What he?Cause?!We will not be able to sell the house because of this fertilizer!

The husband didn't understand it either.And he really wanted to get an explanation.Before I could react, he planted the lawn rapidly, until he reached the door and knocked on it loudly.Mr. Zenon probably did not notice us out of the window, because at the sight he stood like in a cropped.

- What are you doing?Paweł jumped at him.- What the hell did you pour on the lawn?You don't feel how it smells? "Well, it's fertilizer," the older gentleman grunted.- I fertilize the lawn, you can't? - but it stinks for a kilometer!- I supported my husband.- We lost those willing to buy a house because of this fertilizer!

There was darkness outside and it seemed to me, but I had the impression that this information was pleased with the neighbor.As if he was pouring this slurry especially for us for anger.But why should he do this?We have never had a conflict, we lived next to each other in complete agreement.What suddenly happened to him?

"Listen," Paweł began and tried to explain that the spilling of a stinking substance just under our windows is not fair, especially when we try to convince someone to buy.

I looked at the family photo and it dazzled me

However, I had the impression that the neighbor was slightly maliciously smiling.Did he feel sorry for us?I hastily made an examination.What would he get angry?

"Sir, I have the right to fertilize my own lawn and I will do it when I want to," Mr. Zenon finally said and I got the impression that this "when I want" will coincide thoroughly with "When I see a foreign car in front of your gate".

He clearly wanted him to discourage any buyers of our home.Paweł tried to translate something else, but at this moment a great red cat flashed between the neighbor's legs and ran straight to the gates.

- Rubik!The neighbor shouted.- Rubik, come back!

Of course, a cat, like a cat, or thought to turn back, so the neighbor almost pushed us away and ran in his footsteps.The door opened widely and, contrary to good upbringing, I looked inside with curiosity.I saw a fragment of the living room, a fireplace, a table with chairs and a few paintings on the wall.But not only images.Something else was hanging there.Until I narrowed my eyes to see better, but there was no doubt.I showed Paweł a family portrait above the chair at the fireplace.

"Well, it's all clear," he growled and headed towards Mr. Zenon.

He was standing at the bushes near our fence, covering the lips and nose with a sweater sleeve, and called his cat.

- You do it especially!- I called, feeling my rage in me.- You want us not to find customers and sell your daughter's house at a low price!

This is what I saw her on my family portrait above the armchair.I also recognized her husband, the elegant who with such confidence claimed that we would not sell the house at the starting price.I was a bit surprised that I have never seen young here before, but my neighbor quickly explained it.

- And what will you do to me?He asked granted.- Fact, my daughter with a son -in -law has just returned from abroad and want to live near me.They like your home, but you are greedy and that you came up with the price from space!But I tell you: either selling a dream house or not at all.Because I have the right to fertilize the lawn when I want to!

I began to argue with him, shout that I would report him to the sanitary department, but he just laughed in my face.Finally, he literally threw us out of his property and we returned home.I was broken.

- What now?- I threw into space.- this grandfather will pay out every viewer from here.He is right: no one will buy a house with a neighbor-world who smashes the whole area!-wait, wait ... Slags the area, do you say?- Paweł looked at me thoughtfully.- Well, I will tell you: Whoever fights with the stench, the one from the stench will die!

I had no idea what he meant until he made a few calls to his colleagues.He had a really harmonious packet of buddies.Three days later, two of his friends arrived under our house with a white van.After a while, a second car arrived and another two colleagues of her husband.

- Perfect, gentlemen, cages will stand there!- Eryk shouted loudly, IT specialist and husband of two daughters.- We will have three rows of eight frames.Mr. Wojtek, when will the animals reach?

"Mr. Wojtek", i.e. a respected gynecologist, currently performed in a baseball cap, a thick fleece and muddy rubber boots, which made him look like a farmer on his way to a cattle market.

- Nutrie already ordered, boss!He reported in a hoarse voice that I never heard of him.- And where is the skin to stand?

I have no idea what the skin is or something like that exists at all, but this loud exchange of sentences has had the expected effect.Our lootable neighbor went out half of his lawn and anxiety could be seen in his movements.My husband's colleagues with undisturbed peace exchanged comments where the cages for Nutria would stand, and the neighbor finally decided to get around the house and call our gate.

- What's going on with you?He asked restlessly.- What is this team?What nutrie again? - Oh, we will not sell the house - I announced in a cheerful tone as I agreed with Paweł.- we got a good offer of renting a plot.This gentleman - I waved towards Eric - he wants to grow Nutrie here.He has acquaintances in the town hall, so there is no problem with permission.You will stink a bit here, but you don't bother you, right?- I finished and bowed my head to hide a smile that was full of my lips.

So the price is not too high?

Mr. Zenon lost the speech first and then poured rage.

- You do it especially!He shouted.- You bring some stinking nutries here!After anger! - Oh, what are the Lord ... - I smiled innocently.- You just got us all buyers, and we have to do something with the house, somehow earn ...

He left, cursing, but an hour later his daughter called with information that "she was thinking about the offer with her husband" and they could immediately arrange a pre -upper contract.A few days later, the contract was signed and we invited my husband's buddies for the evening in the pub.They deserved a good beer for a great performance titled "Phantom's neighbor and Ferma of Nutria"!

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