The Polish neighbor - "Bob the Builder" has been drilling since morning, he stinks at his slut, and the adventurer beats. Welcome to the block
You can hear hammer blows from below, someone's love of love from above, a drill on the left, and a screaming baby on the right. A drunken row from the ground floor. Where are we? In our flat in a block of flats, bought for a lot of money. And around us, our beloved, one and only, neighbors. You know it, right? We write about them on the web and talk about them at parties, and friends nod their heads in understanding. It looks as if everyone from the autopsy knew the problem entitled "neighbor from hell".
This is not true. The CBOS study "Contacts with neighbors and other social ties" shows that as many as 73 percent. neighbors do favors for themselves - for example, borrowing some household appliances or looking after the child when their parents are away. Although 83 percent. Of us, we maintain "polite" contacts with our neighbors - limited to saying hello, and every third Pole (34%) maintains social contacts with neighbors, i.e. he attends neighborhood parties. In turn, in the Millward Brown study, as much as 89 percent. Poles judged that they liked their neighbors.
ADVERTISEMENTWhy are we most often with our neighbors on a polite level, but when we really get to know and like each other, we value these relationships very much?
- Poles - according to all psychological research - are distrustful of those they do not know well. They need time to break their resistance and reluctance to make hasty acquaintances. But when they get to know each other, often by accident, they establish friendly, also neighborly relations - social psychologist Dr. Hanna Hamer from SWPS University says for Weekend.Gazeta.pl.
Only 6 percent. asked by CBOS says that he has some conflict with his neighbors. So why so many stories about bad neighbors? - In the network and in conversations, people often complain (also by coloring and coloring stories) about their monster neighbors, because it's more interesting than talking about nice people. We like to be listened to. News is, as you know, when it is "a man bit the dog", not the other way around, explains Dr. Hamer.
Therefore, everyone who has lived in a block of flats will distinguish several types of neighbors. Here are some of them.
(Graphics: Marta Kondrusik / Gazeta.pl)Bob the Builder
Weekend. A gentle breeze of warm air from the open window caresses our face, blows through the still closed eyelids. And below them a dream. Idyll. Just this tractor. I think he's coming. It's getting louder. And louder. A terrible truth begins to come to us. It's not a tractor. It's a neighbor. And his latest model of the drill he just fired. At eight o'clock in the morning, be hell on him.
The neighbors in the cage already have a theory that the visitor is training paneling. One weekend he puts it up, the next - he breaks up. And so for six years, every Saturday. Weekly. - When my father went to draw his attention, he almost hit him after the other started talking - tells us Jarek, who lives in a block of flats in Warsaw's Żoliborz.
Probably every apartment block in Poland has such a neighbor - Bob the Builder. It is one who enjoys causing suffering to others through the constant, persistent and uninterrupted renovation of his apartment. We do not envy our reader:
(Graphics: Marta Kondrusik / Gazeta.pl)Adventurer
Probably the worst of all. See for yourself.
- The people from whom I bought the apartment honestly warned me that there could be problems with the neighbors on the ground floor. And they began to tell how at any time of the day and night, the screams of a man and a woman, crying, attacks of hysteria, and the sound of throwing something against the walls could be heard from the ground floor. Unfortunately, they were telling the truth - it quickly turned out that this "something" was a tenant, and a female boxer, or rather a pitcher, was her partner - Ania from Warsaw's Białołęka describes us.
You had to act. At the sounds of an argument, Mrs. Ania's neighbors sent a whole delegation to the couple from the ground floor. At one in the morning, men in boxer shorts, ladies in bathrobes, all dressed appropriately for the time, met in the corridor. After a short exchange of views it was said: - Because we will call the police.
- The answer we heard from our bloody neighbor was taken straight from Pasikowski's "Psy" - reports Ania. For the Lord said, I am the police.
It turned out that not only he, but also his partner work in one of the district headquarters. But there is a method for everyone. They finally moved out. Perhaps the parents of the tenant who actually owned the apartment, or perhaps the neighbor from the opposite direction, acted. She worked at the Internal Security Agency ...
But there are some where you can't help it. Praga in Warsaw, the beginning of the 90s, an old tenement house, the last Friday of the month, known in some circles as the feast of Our Lady of Monetary, which is simply a payday. Oh, the whole house knew that the payment was made, because there were screams and sounds of beating from the taxi driver's apartment. The taxi driver, when he got a wage in his hand, immediately liquefied some of it for alcohol. And then he would come back and beat his wife. And nobody did anything about it.
(Graphics: Marta Kondrusik / Gazeta.pl)Pig
- I know perfectly well when my neighbor leaves or enters the apartment. Because the stuffiness from his apartment lingers in the corridor about half an hour after you enter or leave - describes in an interview with us Maciej from Podgórze, Krakow. And he adds: - The Lord does not open the windows. At all. Since he moved in three years ago, I haven't seen him aired. The windows are tightly covered. He cracked open the balcony door twice because he was hanging out the laundry. I understand that he protects privacy, but his loathing of fresh air hits us, his neighbors. Our noses to be exact.
Yuck. We sympathize. Mr. Maciej would certainly find a common language with one of our readers. He has a problem with a couple of pensioners. Above it live:
(Graphics: Marta Kondrusik / Gazeta.pl)
Spy
You know the atmosphere, right? We leave the house, and suddenly we hear the soft clatter of the door closing next to it. Or we are walking down a neighborhood street, and here on the ground floor behind a curtain ... you know. Housing estate commando for special tasks, the age varied. Common feature? Lots of time to watch what the neighbors are doing. Equipment? Binoculars, of course! Here is how one of the Gazeta.pl forum members describes it:
When they see you in the corridor, it's like nothing, everything is fine, they will say "good morning", ask how is your health. But try to do even the smallest renovation. It will be like our reader:
(Graphics: Marta Kondrusik / Gazeta.pl)The Type To Be Afraid Of
Surely you've seen an American movie in which a group of kids is afraid of a mysterious neighbor who passes for a madman, and you don't know if he'll think of making beetroot stew with children. Sometimes, as in the classic "To Kill a Mockingbird", the neighbor turns out to be completely harmless. But not in the case of Mr. Rafał from Łódź.
- My peace of mind ended on the day when a 40-year-old "bull", covered with tattoos, moved into the apartment above me - Mr. Rafał tells us. It turned out that his new neighbor had recently been released from prison, where he was serving a sentence for killing his mother. And this apartment he inherited from her.
(Graphics: Marta Kondrusik / Gazeta.pl)Marriage with Young Children
A story like many: the child runs around the apartment, screams, sings, jumps. Until 23. And get here go to work the next day refreshed and well rested. There are exceptions: in a certain block of flats in Warsaw there are people who, when asked if a small child will not be disturbed by a party, said: - Do take it easy, you can be loud, if she falls asleep, nothing will wake her up. Are you jealous? Sure you are jealous. That's one in a million.
Children, as we know, are machines for producing sounds that act like perpetual motion machines. Their right, they are children. But when parents are unable to adjust their child's loudspeaker, others begin to curse their neighborhood. Because it happens as described by the readers of Szafa.pl: A 4-year-old child of her neighbors from 8.30 am "makes her time more enjoyable by running around the apartment, bouncing a ball, roller-skating (sic !!), whistling. The reader is a young mother herself - and her toddler is crying because he cannot sleep because of the noise from behind the wall.
(Graphics: Marta Kondrusik / Gazeta.pl)Klatkowy's correspondent
On the door, elevator, intercom. Sheet. And there's a message on it. Sometimes anonymous, and sometimes you know who it is - for example, "the one from 24". And the ubiquitous neighbors who ask. "Please do not turn on the washing machine on Saturday evening, because I cannot watch TV (I was not at home for 3 days). Please do not smoke in the bedroom, because the smell of cigarettes passes through to me through the ventilation (I have never smoked) - he gets nervous talking to us Victoria from Tychy.
Natalia is furious at human hypocrisy. After all, no one will notice either of the monsters that he is tearing up and beating his wife. Nobody will write anything about the theft and damage. But the "whore from across the street" must be branded:
(photo: matkaroku.blogspot.com/)A special type of block announcements are those about the event, such as: "dear neighbors, we are having a party, we apologize in advance for a slight noise, we hope we will not disturb you too much". The block in Ursynów, Warsaw, where the author saw such "lift" correspondence, is fortunately quite "young" and - despite the multiplication of prams and branches stamping in the corridor - there is a lot of understanding among partygoers. "Have fun! :)", "Have a party!" - these are handwritten notes. Out of 10 news feeds, only one was against the party.
Mr. and Mrs. Noise
(Graphics: Marta Kondrusik / Gazeta.pl)We will not even try to outbid what happened to our reader. Here is her story:
Is it really the way Natalia described it, that
"we live among bohemians, in an environment full of aggression"
? Not necessarily.
Are neighborhood wars a Polish specificity, especially for city dwellers condemned to live together through a wall in a block of flats? Nothing similar. - Neighborly wars are specific to people, firstly: with limited horizons, secondly: educated to fight for everything, because they cannot solve problems by compromise, thirdly: people who have not been taught to cooperate, fourthly: simply rude, thick-skinned, boorish, and fifthly, addicted to adrenaline and also provide themselves with the war with their neighbors. Nationality has nothing to do with it, concludes Dr. Hamer.
This means that there is a neglected category of neighbor. Unobtrusive to the eyes, ears and nose. One that we do not notice on a daily basis because it does not attract attention to itself. But in times of need, it turns out that it is, exists and is doing quite well. It will not be a text only about these bad neighbors. Surprised? We do not. There is no shortage of wonderful, helpful, warm and sympathetic neighbors on internet forums and in reports among friends at events.
Cool Neighbor
(Graphics: Marta Kondrusik / Gazeta.pl)Just nice, likeable, polite, polite. The age varies. Social origin and gender too. What distinguishes this type? Kindness towards others, tolerance and personal culture. Such cases are not as rare as they might seem. But there is a condition.
- When we trust someone from our neighbors after a long time, we do each other many favors. Because it's nice and beneficial for both parties - if it's mutual. When one side is constantly favors - the relationship ends, we feel used and manipulated - says Dr. Hamer from the SWPS University.
As our reader on the forum describes:
There are more such examples. It's nice to list what people like their neighbors for:
Yet another forum member, after returning from vacation, received a cake and a "welcome home" card. The neighbors also look after the apartments when we go on vacation. They tip off when something happens. What else? "They pick up our parcels when we are away", "when I have something big and heavy to bring, they offer help without asking", "water the flowers", "look after my house and cat when I am in the hospital", "they close ears, when we happen to party ", finally" are, "as if there was no one" "- lists the reader on our forum. And three more quotes from this thread that we liked the most:
Come on honey, not people. And the ones below are a treasure:
Not enough? This I will tell you the city legend. Only the real one, because I know it firsthand. A block of flats in Warsaw, the beginning of the 1990s. Half of the block is known, because the deficit on the housing market was then such that when one large company broke the news in whispered mail that there were apartments to buy immediately, half the company bought it. Effect? A few months passed, new people were still moving in, the New Year's Eve came. And it turned out that in every other apartment the tenants combined a window sill with this New Year's Eve. THE WHOLE block turned into one big party, strangers clinking glasses during spontaneous meetings in the corridors. It never happened again later, but every inhabitant of this block remembered its inauguration. You can? You can. Years passed, I moved, and one day I was in need. Well, knock, knock on the door opposite.
- Good morning neighbor, would you borrow your folding chairs because I ran out of the party? And the neighbor - not for the first time - took a chance and borrowed his belongings. Got back intact. And if anything was damaged, I would redeem it. Because a good neighbor is a treasure!
Michał Gostkiewicz. Journalist of Weekend.Gazeta.pl magazine, previously worked for Gazeta.pl, Dziennik.pl and the weekly "Newsweek". He writes about foreign affairs and photography. He talked, inter alia, with Richard Branson, Benjamin Barber, Robert Biedron and Andrzej Duda. He runs the Realpolitik blog, and is on Twitter and Instagram. When he is not working, he walks in the mountains and takes pictures.
